#Now do I make the good decision and sleep now
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it’s you.(Dan Heng x Reader)
From the start, all he’s ever seen was you , from how you bend over in half from how hard you laugh , to how you huddle up like a small child when you cry .
He’s seen all of you , and he never regretted it .
But he doesn’t know how you’ll react to him when he shows you his Vidyahara form , he planned on showing it to you when you were ready , but he didn’t have time for that.
Now you’re staring at each other , with only Jing Yuan in between you two .
He’s didn’t mean for it to happen like this!
He meant to slowly get you used to it , to teach you of his mating rituals, and teach you of his nest , how he’ll coddle you and keep you warm and comfort you like a good mate , if you accepted , he’d let you pet his horns and tail and let you borrow all his items , you don’t need to return them . All he wants is your scent and love .
But he can’t do that . Not when his past was brutally taken from him and forced out into the world .
He’s scared of rejection.
He can’t tell what’s going on in your head , he could usually read you like an open book , like when your eyes lit up like the stars when you tasted the herbal recipe he made . Or when you plaster a smile on your face and force yourself to eat something from the ommi-synthesizer that the trailblazer created .
He’s so scared .
After the fight with Phantyila , He watches you retreat to the astral express . He wants to chase you , to tell you he’s so sorry and as payment he’ll coddle you and wrap you up in his tail and-
“Dan Heng? We have to go , Bailu’s expecting us.”
He opens his eyes (when did he ever close them) to see the trailblazer looking at them with a worried expression , asking” Are you alright?”
With a monotone voice , not letting a trace of remorse out, he replies” Yes , I apologize , we can go now”
He can apologize to you his sweet mate later .
He wishes he could abandon all of his duties here to go back home to you and beg for your forgiveness .
When he finally finishes everything he tiredly opens the door to the archives , to see you huddled in the space beneath his desk , with his chair sideways on the floor with your hands covering your head and a book on the floor
How adorable
With a soft chuckle , so quiet practically nobody could hear ,he asks you,”Why are you underneath my desk?”
You sheepishly look at him before getting out from underneath and tell him ,” I panicked when I heard the door open… You keep saying that the archives is a public space but you still sleep in it and I can’t help but feel like I’m intruding …”
He gives a small smile before picking up the book and see it’s about vidyahara.
You freeze and he looks at you.
You quickly fall to your knees apologizing and asking for his forgiveness, but before you can let the fifth “I’m so sorry “ out of your mouth , he gently places a finger to your lips and asks ,”Why were you looking at this?”
You press your lips together before telling him ,”I wanted to learn more about you , I wouldn’t forgive myself if I offended you in anyway without knowing…”
What a lovely mate he has.
He gently pats your head , but then asks you ,” Aren’t you offended that I’ve kept this a secret from you?”
You give him a puzzled look before telling him ,” It’s still you isn’t it? Why should I be concerned about your past? It’s your decision to tell us anyway.”
His eyes widen , before softening and letting his disguise fall , his tail curling around your ankle unconsciously. “ You don’t mind?”
You give him a reassuring smile , “No, I don’t!”
He gently holds your waist , and nuzzles your cheek , making you laugh before asking him ,” Is this some sort of courting act or something?”
He freezes before looking up at you ,” Did that book talk about mating rituals…”
You laugh before resting your head in the crook of his neck , breathing in and out , “ Yes , it did , and honestly , I again my surprise when I find out most of your actions weren’t innocent gestures , but intentions of courting me.”
You tilt your head up to see the tips of his ears turn red , one of his hands gently burying itself into your hair and massaging your scalp. Feeling merciful today , you let him stay silent and don’t pry any further , bathing in his affection and laying down on his futon .
before you succumb to the temptation of sleep , you whisper to him , “ No matter what , it’s still you . What you’ve done has already happened, and even then it was your incarnation who had sinned , not you . You were just a child . ”
You give him a tired smile , before burying your head into his neck and snuggling deeper into his arms , letting his warmth soak into your bones .
When he hears your breathing even out , he sighs and gently noses at your scalp , kissing the crown of your head .
What a lovely mate he has.
#dan heng x reader#dan heng hsr#dan heng x you#dan heng il#dan heng imbibitor lunae#imbibitor lunae#dan heng x y/n#fluff#hsr#honkai star rail#Dan heng
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Tough conversations and good distractions
M reader
Cast: Yizhuo, Aeri, Yooyeon (not mentioned often)
Tags: smut, top reader, cheating, angst, marrital issues, drama, multi part series
WC: 3.8k
This felt like a repeat of how your parents argued. Your tie feels tight around your neck, this is what you never wanted to feel at any point in your adult life.
Your marriage was going through a rough patch for a while. Like, a seriously long while.
Yizhuo and yourself had been together for almost a year now, and at the beginning of your marriage you felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, the honeymoon period didn't last long.
It's not like you try your best to fix it either in all honesty. You work in a fast-paced corporate job and the last thing you need to come home to is your wife asking you incessantly about who you've been conversing with and other questions you feel like you answered a million times.
You don't like to lie but distractions were needed to help keep you in your right mind.
“Baby, for the last time. The only one I have my eyes on is you. I swear it.” You learned to give that speech almost every time she felt insecure. It was getting over used, you might need to paraphrase it soon.
On top of Yizhuo’s knack for insecure behaviour, you have to deal with her family's high expectations. You're the vice president of your older brother's company but that wasn't enough for your in-laws. They wanted you to start your own company, be risky but that just wasn't who you were. You're a laid back guy who enjoys doing his job and one hell of a good one at that and getting paid without making any huge decisions that could affect other people at large.
“God, I just don't understand why you can't talk to me! You act like I'm not here for you when I tell you that you can always talk to me.” You want to roll your eyes at her words. Yizhuo would look impeccable if it weren't for the fact that you thought she had gone deaf in one ear.
“No sweetheart, I said that I simply have nothing to talk about, not that I can't talk with you.” You say gripping the dinner table you're currently leaning back on as your wife sits on the couch away from you. Yizhuo had been pressing you for answers on why you were so quiet these days but you just weren't up for it.
She licks her lips, her tongue sliding over her plump bottom lip and squeezing her eyes tightly as she blinks, as if she was calming herself down.
“I just have been…. Hearing things.” She starts.
“What things, Yizhuo?” You say her name, which makes her shift in her seat. Now she's rubbing her hands as if she's going to hear heartbreaking news.
“I've heard… that you've been seeing another woman. Specifically, that new girl on your work team.” Oh lord. You want to rip your hair out. ‘Is she seriously accusing me of sleeping with a university intern that I haven't even met?’ Your thoughts laugh at the situation, it's hilarious at this point.
The person she should worry about is the one closest to her.
“Oh really? And who told you that? Your little spy Aeri? She barely knows left from right and how many times has she been wrong about shit like this? Huh? Drop it, Yizhuo. I'm serious.”
You were dead serious, tired and not in the mood to be playing bullshit with your wife this early in the morning right before work. “Fine! But I still don't get why you just can't say ‘No honey, I'm not cheating’. Why can't you just say that to me?” Yizhuo says, throwing her hands up in defeat as she gets up to head to your shared bedroom.
A sigh leaves your mouth. This has gotten ridiculous. “You know what? I don't think that no matter what I say or do you're ever going to believe me. That's why, Yizhuo. So I'm going to work now and I would recommend you to drop this nonsense before I get home.”
You don't even let her say something back. You grab your work bag, car keys and you're gone with the wind. Now you're in the worst possible mood ever, sorry to all of your coworkers today.
—
“What's up with the VP today? He's crashing out over a few small mistakes.” One of your coworkers whispered in the break room. “Isn't he married to that fine woman? What issues could he have?” Another one said, edged with slight envy.
“Probably just some troubles in paradise. It's their one year mark soon. Everything goes to shit after that, I would know.” A supervisor says, his voice quieting with the last part of his dialogue. As if it was scripted, the workers collectively release a sigh, remembering the way they used to formerly be with their partners.
Of course, there was always someone keeping an ear out for a good conversation—minus the collective sigh at the end—especially when it has to do with someone she's been keeping an eye out for.
You are half near losing your mind. The argument from this morning and now your team was making numerous mistakes regardless of how small they were. ‘Fuck, I need to smoke’ You think getting out of your chair that you'd been glued to for the past four hours. Besides, the air and the person waiting for you will clear your head.
You press the elevator button a few times and that small action makes you wonder just when you have become such an impatient person. You used to love a good wait time especially when you were about to do something you had promised yourself you would never do again. Fortunately, the elevator opens, inviting you to enter it and whisk yourself away from the stress of your life.
“Hold it, please!” You hear a feminine voice call out, her heels making a light jog towards the elevator which you hold your arm out, keeping it open. “Thank you so much. I wasn't ready to wait another 10 minutes for the elevators.” The black haired girl breathes out and you chuckle nodding your head at her.
“I hear it. I still can't believe they only have two elevators for a fifteen floor building.” You say, getting a better look at the woman who's in a neat pencil skirt and a button up shirt. “What's your name? Haven't seen you before.” You mention extending your hand to the woman.
She takes your hand shaking it. “The names Yooyeon. Don't bother introducing yourself, I think we'll end up seeing each other more often.” Just then the elevator opens cueing her leave. Yooyeon waves as she steps off the elevator. You watch her walk away. Your eyes are unnecessarily narrowing down on her ass as the elevator closes.
You breathe out a sigh, it has been a while since you had an easy going conversation with someone. You think for a split second just as you enter the rooftop. “Well well well, look who we have here.” You hear a sensual voice purr.
“Oh my, is that my wife's makeshift CIA investigator? Goodness, what do I owe the pleasure, Aeri.” You say sarcastically walking beside the woman, pulling out a cigarette to which Aeri lights it up for you. The woman dangerously close, you can smell her Chanel perfume as her eyelashes bat at you.
“Oh dear, have I ruffled your feathers on such a pleasant morning, sir?” She says, coyly placing her hand on the lapel of your suit. You remove her hand and breathe out your smoke onto her face. “Do you find yourself happy confusing my wife?” She fans the smoke away from her and smiles at you, if it were anyone else they would have misunderstood her smile as a genuine one.
“I enjoy it just as much as you like filling me up.” Her words make you clench your jaw. Your hand that does not have a cigarette lodged between two fingers grips her face. “Watch that mouth. You're much more careless than I thought.” Aeri only grips your blazer and throws your hand away from her face.
You breathe in smoke again, holding it in and then you blow it out. You know what's going to happen after this. You know you can't trust yourself with this woman, and she knows that just as well as you do. So you step out your cigarette and press your lips against hers. Aeri meets you with fervor and passion.
“You know you can't get enough.” She whispers haughtily, confident in herself. Unfortunately, you know she's right and so you burst out laughing to her confusion. Aeri almost gets the chance to ask you what's wrong with you but you kiss her again. Your tongue running over her lips, sucking on her bottom lip, and just like that Aeri feels like she's the only one in the world. Pressing chaste kisses all over her lips and then you slide your tongue into her mouth. You hear her release a moan, a pretty one at that. It rings in your ear, letting you grip the back of her neck pushing her as close as you possibly could.
It's an addiction, one that feels so good, one that you doubt you could stop. So you don't. You're driving Aeri to one of her father's numerous hotels to check in to so you can take your fingers out of her cunt and stick something else in.
“Fuck- drive faster, you piece of shit.” The name calling makes you scoff. “Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking mouth earlier?” You curl the pads of your fingers to hit her spot. Aeri's back arches, the back of her hand falling lightly over her mouth as she tears up. Finally, you achieve your desired silence minus the moans and ‘Fuck’ and ‘Mm right there’ ‘s coming from Aeri's mouth.
Unfortunately, you reach your destination all too quickly. You slide your fingers out of her sopping folds and she shoots you a glare but nevertheless gets out of the car, walking a few paces ahead of you. The receptionist is used to the two of you and your monthly rendezvous with the Chairman's daughter.
“Don't take so long, you know what we're here for and I’d rather not spend more time with you than I'd like to.” Aeri says, as you zip her black short dress down. You roll your eyes and push her onto the bed without much regard for her. You throw off your blazer and pull your tie off only to unbutton the first button. You crawl closer to her, you bury your face into her neck, pressing a hot kiss against her pale skin.
By the time you're done making love with her neck, your belt has been unbuckled and your pants are off. Aeri's fingers pull the waistband of your boxers down with some help of yourself. “Come on, put it in.” She whines into your ear, you aim your length at her entrance but don't do as the vixen wants.
“So fucking whiny for it, why don't you beg? Act a little cute for me, won't you? It's been so hard calming my wife down because of your evil whispers.” Aeri stiffens at the mention of Yizhuo. You can see her eyes flicker, you wonder if that's if she feels bad or if she doesn't like how much you're talking.
But the thought of reality doesn't last long before you feel Aeri press her dainty and magically gorgeous hand on your chest pushing you down onto your back. Aeri unbuttons the rest of your blouse at a torturously slow speed, which you would never admit turned you on a bit. She presses hot kisses down your torso starting at your jaw, so near to your lips and further down she went.
As a natural occurrence would have it she landed just where your lower stomach is. Her tongue flat against your stomach, giving it small kisses and kitten licks. You just wish she'd go a bit lower so you hold a hand to the back of her head and try to escort her way to your hard, pre cum leaking cock.
“You want me to suck on him? Act a little cute for me, won't you?” Referring to your cock as ‘him’ and the sarcastic repetition of your words. The two of you lock eyes for a moment before you feel the need to kiss her again. So you do as you desire but not before you get what you want.
You wrap a hand around your cock and push it closer to her lips. Aeri looks up at you and you tilt your head slightly with a pout on your lips, as your back rests against her head board. She gives in to your little show and wraps her lips around your tip, her tongue makes small circles around the head before letting more of your length slide into her mouth. You suck in a deep breath as you feel Aeri apply suction.
Your hand naturally returns to the back of her neck politely urging her to take more of your shaft. Aeri knows the desperation that you're displaying and she enjoys it but more than anything she enjoys seeing you crumble, that mask of being the all responsible, perfect family man and vice president just falls off under her touch.
Though this is something that she knows will never last forever, she gives in taking you into the back of her throat. She takes your cock whole, letting it hit the back of her throat and she lets her mouth head back to the tip. Aeri repeats this over and over. No regard for the way she’ll probably gag at having you so deep.
As if she wants to consume you whole, monopolise you, own you, the greed that she feels is most likely consuming herself but she delusions herself into thinking that she is not affected by the way your eyes are stuck onto hers.
Aeri can feel your hips twitch, as if you’re warning her unconsciously of your orgasm. Her tongue slides over your member, carefully paying attention to it in the most romantic way possible. The poised woman removes your cock from her warm mouth allowing your white hot to land on her face in untimed spurts. Your hand grabs some tissues on the bedside table of the bed to pass to your accomplice. To which she takes and carefully dabs her face, erasing any residue left.
Now you think for a moment, ‘She looks pretty.’ but you don't allow yourself to think any further, after all Aeri would tie a noose around your neck if she knew you had such thoughts, soft thoughts. You lay the woman down on her back, the rest of work would be on your part so you slide on a condom looking down at the woman under you.
“A man with no arms could move faster than you, don’t waste my time.” Aeri spits at you and you scoff at her words, lowering yourself and pressing your cock head against her wet entrance. Her back arches and her arms wrap around your neck as your cock enters her, filling every space in her cunt.
“Fuck, it’s been so long.” You groan as you bury your head into the crook of her neck, your hand slides under the back of her thigh caressing her softly as you fuck her. Aeri’s small swears and loud moans fill the hotel room along with your groans. Your hips rock back into her pelvis, and you can feel Aeri's small movements in an attempt to match your thrusts. You're stretching her out in ways she could never imagine. The tightness of her sopping pussy has you groaning out in awe.
Your eyes are stuck on the way Aeri's breasts move every time you fuck her. You throw her legs over your shoulders and get as close as humanly possible, your face perched between the woman's perfect boobs. Your mouth latches onto one of her nipples, sucking it, licking it, and giving it all your attention and focus. Aeri yelps and mewls, her luxurious sounds of pleasure leaking out of her pretty lips only encourages you to continue working her breasts. But you never forget to hit the deepest part of her pussy, you find yourself unable to stop giving the most concentrated strokes known to mankind.
“Go- god, keep going, you- fuck so perfect for me.” Aeri says as her hands manage to touch your face and bring you to focus on her face, that's contorted in the ecstasy that you bring her. Both of your lips find one another with some struggle of space, yet your tongue slides into her perfectly curated mouth and you spend time working her mouth. “You're the one who's so fucking perfect.” You praise her and you can tell she enjoys the words of affirmation after all, her cunt is tightening around you.
As if you would die if you did not seek pleasure from Aeri you continue to chase your high. Despite hers being long reached, Aeri can only let out gasps and whines asking you to give her a break. “I'll give you a break when you deserve one. I haven't even cum yet.” Your hips jerk again into her and her head falls back. The sounds of her moaning are rivaled by the sounds of your balls slapping harshly against her skin, additionally the wet sounds coming from her pussy. “You're acting like you don't enjoy this, you hear that? Those sounds are all yours. Don't get so fucking arrogant, you whore.” you spit out cruelly, and she responds with a sobbed out apology.
A small smile paints your lips, the feeling of pride swelling in your chest. Who else but you could bring the Chairman's daughter down a notch other than you? If the world was your oyster this is what you would be doing for the rest of your life. “That's what I thought. Don't forget your fucking place. And tell me where your place is?” You egg her on, you know Aeri knows the answer to this question. Her eyes look away from yours and she can only bite her lip. So you stop thrusting for a moment, which causes a whiny mewl to leave Aeri's lips.
“My place is..” she takes her time pronouncing the words. It only increases your satisfaction of watching the proud woman suddenly melt into a girl who only has her eyes on you. “...below you.” A smile slaps onto your face, your hand lands on her hair, caressing her so softly. You know she's waiting for her reward and it's your job to give her what she wants.
You bottom out in Aeri's cunt, filling her up, a cuss falls out of her mouth. Your hand goes under her thighs and pushes her knees beside her head. Your fucking her rough and murderously fast, she's practically screaming. Your cock is hitting a perfect spot, your teeth are gritting together. “This is what good girls get when they act good.” You say, your voice low and deep as Aeri reaches yet another earth shattering orgasm. Yours is on the way soon, with the way your balls are tightening. You slide out of her, you take off your condom, then you push yourself back in.
“No- wait, you can't. That's too-” Your hand falls over your mouth. “Shut the fuck up, I'm not cumming inside of you, dumb whore. I'm just feeling your insides a bit.” And to your expectations, it felt so good, you should've done this from the start. You're orgasming soon though so you slide out your cock again and let yourself finish on her tits and face.
Both of you are panting, completely out of breath. “What's with you today?” Aeri says, obviously annoyed with you, but you couldn't bother to care. “My wife and I have an interview to get to. I'll shower first.” You ignore her question and take a quick peek at your watch that is currently the only piece of clothing you have along with your ring. “Well, since you didn't read the list of interviewees. My father and I are also getting interviewed. We have no time.” You know what Aeri means and you smile.
She rolls her eyes and grabs you by the elbow and leads you to the washroom. Suddenly you feel like you have an extra 20 minutes to spare. So long as you get another blow from her. “Let's get each other clean, Uchinaga.”
—
“Do you know how much we're running late?!” You hear Yizhuo say from the second floor of your mansion. “Honey, we're fine. It's a 25 minute drive.” You were thankful that your limo at least had champagne in there to keep you company as your wife freaks out over the time.
Your eyes catch Yizhuo peeking down at you from the ledge of the stairs. Her face coloured in seriousness with her full lips pursed into an unhappy one. You lock eye contact with her and pull out one of your award winning smiles, the one that you'd use during the interview.
“Get off your phone, and tell the chauffeur to pull around.” Yizhuo's voice is elegant and perfect, and you know she means it. “Now, please.” Though it doesn't sound like Yizhuo is asking, rather she's demanding, and of course you comply. You go outside to see your chauffeur, an older gentleman with grey hair and a heartwarming aura.
“Pull around the limo, the one with alcohol. Thank you, Greg.” He nods at your words with a polite smile on his face, and he's off to get the car. You turn around to go grab your blazer and Yizhuo's fur coat off the couch.
“Sweetheart, thank you for getting my coat. You're perfect.” Yizhuo says, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek as you open the door outside for her. “Anything for you, my beloved.” You say, holding the coat open for her to slip on easily, which she does. You throw on your black coat easily. Yizhuo's coat is black fur, befitting of her white cocktail dress.
“You look gorgeous, I'm almost hurt that someone else will see you looking this good.” You compliment, earning a smile and an elegant giggle from your wife. “And all of this will be yours when we get home. As long as you're on your best behaviour.” She says coyly, and you could practically feel your cock hardening under your pants.
You couldn't wait to get this over with, get home and collect your prize. Whether you would live up to deserve it… well we'll find out.
#ning yizhuo#ningning#ningning x reader#giselle x reader#giselle#aeri uchinaga#aespa#aespa x reader#M reader
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Read a really tasty platonic Yandere Ford fic and now I have Yandere brain worms once again, so here’s a brain dump :))
Also I’m going a romantic Yandere route because Stancest my beloved <3 and I feel like this could go many ways. Once again, everything is under the cut!
I can see Ford developing his Yandere tendencies either at a young age, after Stan is kicked out, or when Stan gets his memories wiped. All options are fun, but I’m going with Paranoid Ford and Mullet Stan because that dynamic is so fun!!
Ever since Stan got kicked out and Ford went to college, he had something in the back of his mind that was always telling him things were wrong. Food didn’t taste as good, colors were duller, and life just seemed so much more… bland. Lifeless. Ford refused to acknowledge that he’s feeling this way because Stan was gone and threw himself into his work.
He was going to prove to everyone that he was a genius. The brightest mind of their age. So he studies, gets his 12 PHDS, heads to Gravity Falls, and life continues to be a little less exciting the longer he’s apart from Stan.
Then he meets Bill, and everything makes sense again. Bill reminds him so much of Stanley that he quickly latches onto him, falling for all his tricks and lies. He should have known better. And now here he was, being taunted and tortured by a triangular demon. Every night Bill enters his dreams and tries to get him to open the portal. He takes control of his body and threatens his safety, making Stanford question if his body is even his anymore, but he wouldn’t break. He wouldn’t. He just needed something. Someone. He needed… Stan.
It all started to go wrong when Stan left. Life seemed to lose all meaning without Stan there. The more he thought about his twin, the more he regretted the day their Father had kicked his brother out. His brother was his biggest hype man. He always believed in him, supported him, loved him. And it was love, wasn’t it? Pure, unadulterated love. Stanford had always thought Stan was trying to get attention from Ford’s achievements, showing him off like he was a prized puppy. But why would he do that when Ford always ended up getting the compliments?
He was an idiot to overlook it. To overlook him. He needed Stan. They were meant to be together. It took one night for Ford to finally make his decision after fretting for days on whether or not to reach out to Stan.
Bill had went a different route that night to mess with Ford. He showed Ford how Stanley had been living since he got kicked out of the house. How he was homeless, on the run, and struggling. He threatened Stan’s life, and that was the last straw.
It wasn’t just Ford’s life that fell apart without their twin it seemed. Ford was filled with rage at the sight of Stan hungry and alone. Furious at the fact Bill would even dare look at Stan.
He had a new goal now. He needed Stanley’s help to defeat Bill, and then he was going to kill anyone who dared hurt his baby brother. He sent out a postcard the same night with only two words on it.
“PLEASE COME.”
Ford was afraid that Stan wouldn’t come at first. If he didn’t show up then Ford mused that he would have to deal with Bill on his own and then hunt Stan down, but not even a week later Stan was at Ford’s door, as beautiful as the day he lost him.
He just needed to deal with Bill, and then he and Stanley could be together again.
It took him longer than he liked to deal with Bill, even with Stan’s help, but when they found out that aluminum foil blocked Bill from entering his mind they made quick and efficient work of the demon. Apparently being able to work on more than 2 hours and 27 minutes a sleep a day helped the mind. Ford couldn’t help but feel like an idiot when he realized something as simple as a kitchen wrap was able to counteract Bill’s influence.
It was Stanley who first came up with the idea after Ford had explained everything to him. He had scoffed at the idea, but at Stan’s insistence he tried it out. He was never happier to be wrong and almost kissed Stan the next morning when he woke up from a dreamless sleep.
After banishing Bill and beginning the process to dismantle the portal, Ford realized he had to make his move. Stanley was growing antsy the longer he stayed, and had even brought up the fact he would have to “hit the road,” soon.
He should have been more clear. It was his fault, really. Of course his brother would think all Ford wanted was his help. Then back to the life of a homeless drifter, not even knowing when he’d have his next meal.
Ford wasn’t going to let that happen.
The brand was simple, but elegant. Intricate Rune’s weaved into sleek, sweeping lines. It had taken Ford three days to get this far, but it was still unfinished. He just needed more time, time he didn’t have.
He had to take drastic action when Stan tried to leave. He had come upstairs for a cup of coffee only to be met with Stan bundled up, front door halfway open.
“Stanley? Where are you going?”
His voice seemed to startle his twin, the man turning towards him with a sheepish grin.
“Just getting out of your hair. Don’t want to over stay my welcome and all that jazz. Think I’m going to head down to Utah, heard it’s nice around this time of year.”
It was a lie. Stan was banned from Utah. Stanley was banned from a lot of states actually, which made Ford’s life a lot more easier if Stan did make it out the door that night.
But he didn’t.
With a smile, he reached out his hand, a silent offer to carry his twins bag.
“Ah, no need Sixer. I got it. You can go back to your nerd stuff. Nice seeing you.”
Was Stan’s gruff response, clutching the duffel bag tightly.
“At least let me walk you to your car.”
Stan seemed to hesitate, before nodding. Even when he was trying so hard to push Ford away, Stan still craved his attention. His brother was adorable, like a cute puppy who couldn’t decide if he wanted you to pet him or to bite your hand off.
The two walked out in the snow, the only sounds being the soft crunching of their footsteps. The snowstorm had slowed down to a soft drizzle, snowflakes falling lazily down from the sky.
And in the middle of the beautiful snowy landscape was Stan’s car, its tires slashed.
“What the fuc-“
It was a quick sedative, one that only took a few sniffs to make a grown man pass out. Ford hadn’t accounted for Stan’s resistance to drugs, though. His brother stared at him with cloudy eyes, a betrayed look on his face, and all Ford could do was quietly shush him.
“Shh, it’s okay Lee. I just need a little more time, then we’ll never be apart again.”
#stancest#why is Stan trying to leave? bc Ford is acting totally creepy the whole time lol#this is all from Ford’s POV so he doesn’t realize how obviously creepy he’s being#don’t worry Stan is into it eventually 🥰🥰#he’s just not used to people actually wanting him#which is another reason he tried to leave#he genuinely didn’t want Ford to get sick of him being there#so he decided to leave before Ford would kick him out!!#hope this is good lol#I’m kind of iffy about it but also I promised to get this out today and it’s 2am#sooooo…. enjoy!!! :))
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Alright Pudding Pops,
I've made a decision. I'm going to force myself to take a long break. We all know I'm not good at actually relaxing and not doing things behind the scenes but I'm going to try
I won't be making any content until the new year. More specifically I'll be back January 6th (the Monday feels right so we can start the posting schedule at the start of the week)
The burnout from the holidays is extra spicy right now getting 4 hours of sleep at night probably isn't helping
I may lurk and noodle doodle/answer questions but I'm cooked and can't promise anything
Anyways see you in the new years my precious peeps 💖
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#matt smith#peter capaldi#ncuti gatwa#karen gillan#arthur darvill#🫡#2 gifsets today to make up for me not being able to make any yesterday!!#i think i'm just only gonna be giffing from the giggle until the christmas special is out lol#ok now do i have time to watch the pjo episodes before going to sleep...#OR do i finish reading the star beast and then start on wild blue yonder#DECISIONS#good night friends!!!
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I have been replaying Dragon Age Origins again and I have so fucking much love for this game and the origins system and how much roleplay it has inspired me to do. The blorbos are blorbing in my head so much right now, I can hear them crying over their trauma already and hear myself crying as I bring them the comfort and hope I wish for myself. I am so in love with the power of stories and as flawed as it is, Dragon Age is such a beautiful muse.
#dragon age#dragon age origins#rambles#Now do I make the good decision and sleep now?#Or do I make the fun decision and stay up another hour or two ramblinging about DA?
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everyone wish me luck my dumb ass decided i could handle two double shifts back to back which means today i'm going to be at work for 16hrs, go home and sleep for like 5hrs and then be back at work for 16hrs. i'm in hour 2.5 of 16 so i need all the help i can get.
#liveblogging life#me every time i sign up for these shifts: oh it'll be fine bc both shifts are so quiet i can just fuck around the whole time!#me actually doing the shift: if i cant sleep in the next two minutes im going to kill someone#my mom also bought tickets for a show tonight and i didnt want to tell her i was working a double#bc then she'll have like. comments about it and i just dont want to deal with it#which means i got up three hours earlier than normal to drive down to go see it with her#and luckily it ended about 40m before i had to be at work.#but that meant i had to just immediately drive to work#which means i'll be up juuuust under 24hrs in a row now. yay.#for a show that tbh wasnt really even that good lol#anyway all this to say i make bad life decisions and to be frank! my check better be fucking great after this!
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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:
I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment
I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month
To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin
How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself
I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart
So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
#i took so long writing this nonesense for no other reason other than the fact its 2 am and no one makes good decisions at 2 am#that i am actually already feeling sleepy#if my best friend actually manages to give me 1 good nights sleep i will kiss that woman in the mouth and get hitched with her in ibiza#jk shes straight as shit and shes like a sister to me so that scenario is making me cringe but the sentiment prevails#alas dont do drugs unless your doctor tells you to kids#or your nurse best friend#bro im getting so sleepy the word “nurse” aint even looking right anymore#is that even a real word#yes#google says it is#it is not about viking mythology like a thought for about 2 seconds#okay good good nice nice#anyway#i talked about you know what so i have to tag this post for my adhd sake#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#david tennant#there#in case anyone cares about a post that mentions crowley for 1 second while in rhe middle of a whole ass sleep drug inflicted rant#lowkey kinda sure ive writen more in the tags now than the damn post jesus christ#hopefully ill be able to have money to buy my medication on the 12th and ill be somewhat mentally stable by the 14th#which means i might actually upload my fanfic next tuesday if my brain is working again#night peeps dont let the bed bugs bite#idk what im saying anymore#my closet just banged by itself and now im scared#sully?#mike?#bo?
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Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from kedreeva (and directly taken from suzukiblu)
It’s WIP Wednesday on a Thursday! I am free of the grad school! For. two weeks.
Here’s how it works:
I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.
Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!
Multiple asks are fine ^-^
If you’re reading this, you’re invited!
WIP names:
With Tar-Telepta, Aran Morinórea (coruling Mordor for fun and aesthetics; silvergifting; on ao3 here):
The Worst Road Trip (you think tar-gloriel’s an asshole, maglor, imagine having to work for the guy)
Annatar’s Shit Paradigms (catastrophic consent-related miscommunication)
Without Tar-Telepta:
Donating Blood (vivisecting your maia boyfriend; silvergifting)
Mallachel (accidental time travel with Nargothrond Celebrimbor and melted Sauron; silvergifting; on ao3 here)
Non-Euclidean Nan Elmoth (maeglin mind controlling glorfindel for fun and aesthetics)
snippet from Non-Euclidean Nan Elmoth:
It’s so dark.
When he gets tired, he half-sleeps in the bed. If Maeglin didn’t want him to, he shouldn't have left him here. By the time he’s hungry enough he can’t ignore it any longer, he's able to navigate fairly well between the bed, the washbasin and its full lidded pitcher of clean water (which was such a relief to discover), the chamberpot, and the food tray.
Again, the uncertainty of how long this is going to go on is crushing. He doesn’t want to eat too much too soon and then be even more miserable later.
It’s so dark.
On top of the dresser he eventually finds a hand mirror. He almost drops it immediately on discovering it, and the shards would have been horrible to try to deal with.
Without the mirror, the Treelight in Laurefindelë’s eyes only means he can sometimes see his own nose. But if he holds it up to his face, the light in his eyes scatters, and it makes just the faintest glow. Not really enough to see clearly by, but enough to remind himself he’s in an unlit room and not the Everlasting Darkness or something.
#gem writes#glorfindel#non euclidean nan elmoth#maeglin is such a kind and gracious host all of glorfindel's needs are provided for#except light#but it's all good goldilocks makes his own ^-^#wrote much of this with a cat on my lap#do recommend#i'm allowed to make dumb decisions like allowing the Allergen Generator into the place where i sleep#she didn't go onto the bed it's fiiiine#I could keep writing this right now but im two hours late for lunch
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had about half of the most recent critical role episode left, decided to watch some to calm down before sleep.
that was two hours ago bc holy shit was i uh. not expecting the whole last hour. holy fucking shit, did ashton ever push that damn red button. we got the perches. we got sam hiding in the hood. we got the book-on-the-head. we got the yelling. we got what i am now referring to as matt's 'molly face' every time he rolled. i have not been this tense since the otohan fight and... this felt like a different kind of tense? also it's been a while since then i hadn't realised!
what an absolutely fucking wild series of events and rolls and i cannot believe that worked.
#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#bell's hells#c3e077#salmon watches cr3#for the record it's a very positive 'holy fucking shit'#like was it a stupid decision that was *very clearly telegraphed* by the dm?#yes! of course!#was it also completely in character for ashton and did it make sense for them? 'big risk big reward' 'nobody is going to miss me' etc?#yes!#and like look#big decisions make the game right#that's how the story works#good story is built on the tense shit and the conflict and the terror and BOY was it good (but also oh my fucking god)#GOD what an episode what a night#i need to attempt to sleep now. apparently#incredible work a+ no notes#'an unprecedented creature' indeed#how's aabria doing tonight between the ring of temporal salvation#and the titans she both caused and saved this mess#also i am SO glad i caught up in time for this episode my god#yes i know the episode aired on thursday night#but like. timezones. and i didn't finish watching it last night bc i was dead tired#incredible episode. very much looking forward to rewatching the last hour again sometime soon. gotta try and sleep now.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#thoughts from hel#so basically i submitted a cover letter with some highlighted text in random colors bc i forgot to unhighlight them before submitting#(i highlight things to remember to change them for each job app but i might have to deprecate that practice after this)#and then i realized and was like oh fuck and i was like well maybe i should just own it y'know. it's me being super innovative and creative#and also since i highlight stuff to change all the highlighted texts were the most relevant parts of the cover letter anyway#but the highlighting job was messy as hell after i dragged sentences to and fro all over it while i was formulating that thing. like#the highlighting started kind of in the middle of my sentence and had extra highlighted spaces and colors n stuff it was. haphazard.#so i was like okay. i probably can't gaslight (by sending psychic vibes to the recruiter-- since it's an online form#with no direct communication between me and them whatsoever) the recruiter into reasonably thinking this highlighting job#was on purpose. so i spent a full like TWO EXTRA HOURS spiraling into “can i submit the form twice or should i just take the L on this”#and ultimately submitted it a second time with the fixed letter. uhhh hopefully it was the fixed one but i'm too tired to care now#part of the job description was “attention to detail” so i definitely failed that one the first time around but the recruiter#who reads (hopefully. because with how saturated the job market is now they might not even do that) my apps#had BETTER see all the fucking attention to detail i paid to making sure my decision to resubmit would be a good one#telepathically. of course. (the difference between overthinking and attention to detail is how much you are appreciated)#i literally went on so many forums and the help page for the recruiting application website thing to find out how exactly they handled#duplicate applications bro i could RECITE this shit to anyone now. fuck#time to go to sleep. tomorrow is a new day. with ten+ more companies to apply to. 👍
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tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess??#that’s so not fetch of me#topic of the day is:#I’m pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line#which is not fun#but feels more organic#judging by the way I’m keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k#that’s a rough estimate#maybe 280k if I’m being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick#but that’s just a theory#HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too#for example. recently he’s been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia#he knows he isn’t sleeping enough#he knows he’s stressed af#the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesn’t#and this is not me shaming#I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode#trust me. that ain’t fun#but he’s starting to hear things. that’s concerning. that’s suspicious. he needs help#but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations#also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isn’t a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy#do criminals go to therapy?#I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe it’s part of their reintegration program. good for them#but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage?#idk mate this is fiction#you have fun today ok?#go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree.#:D
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sometimes i will be having violent suicidal thoughts and i won't even be too panicked or saddened by them. it's more like "god. this again? shut the fuck up. i already know all that. we think about this multiple times a day. can you calm down? i need to sleep."
#anyway that's my situation now#i wrote out a whole lengthy vent post and figured. what's the poing#this is me under the effect of clonex btw i think if i didn't take it i would've been way worse now#good job @2 hours ago me. for catching it before it could fester into a violent reaction. now it's just annoying#sad that idk how I'll fall asleep now tho. it's so late. i need to wake up p early on sunday i should probably set an alarm now too :/#ough i'm gonna be so tired and disoriented tomorrow if i do. but it'll be worse on sunday if i can't sleep. 😭😭😭#decisions decisions. all of them wrong. this body won't let me make any good choice 🥲
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ahhh the Penacony leaks are really coming in now.
*chuckles* I'm in danger.
#i keep going back and forth about if i'm skipping Ratio. I was 100% going for him but now. looking at whats coming#I like Sunday and Robin and Boothill and Gallagher and Misha and Aventurine and DUKE INFERNO?!?#okay. i just saw that Aventurine might be sustain unit. i NEED one of those so bad.#my accounts gonna be completely fucked if i don't get a good support sometime soon. so like. that moves him WAY up my priorities list#and moves Ratio down :( still dunno exactly what he does waiting for official release to make final decisions#but. if he's really an imaginary dps. i might... *dies a little bit* skip him#i just!!! i have DH!!! i WANT to use DH! he's my favourite character in the damn game!#and >_> is Ratio going to have story relevance? i thought Argenti would get more then just a companion quest but he hasn't#and that kinda... bums me out? i like the meet a character THEN roll for them not the other way around. i like character who matter plotwis#A!NY!WAY! putting that aside. i might just go for the 50/50 and take what i get. just to smooth out my pity if nothing else#i don't have most of the standard pool so chances are *knocks on wood* i'll have something new to work with#and like we are getting an absolute BARRAGE of hard skip banners coming up after him.#i do not care for these women at all. extremely mid designs i SLEEP#(except for the judge she fucks but. jades are tight right now honey im sorry!!)#so. i've got a little but of time to save afterwards#post: misc#game: honkai sr#these tags are long and disjointed but its *checks clock* almost 2:30 am so. i'm a bit. you know.#i could save this draft for tomorrow and edit into something resembling a human's train of thought instead of word vomit but#i kinda wanna capture the moment. this is how i saw the leaks. the essence of desperation of a f2p. aahhh gacha my beloved.
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going through it.
#i literally thought to myself i need to be 6 again which is how you know things are Not Good!!!!!!!!!!#i don’t know what i Want and it’s driving me CRAZY and every option feels so scary but i don’t think in actuality it is#i’m so fucking tired but i can’t sleep bc i was stupid and slept at 6pm and fucked it up#i have two classes tomorrow and i havent done the work for either of fjem#* them which is embarrassing and i need to make a decision that is quite significant and i thought i knew what i was going to do about it#but now i’m not sure and every minute is getting closer to when i do have to decide#and i’ve got a roommate again so i cant even just. like. idk.#and physically i feel like shit and i have to see my dad tomorrow night and i just wish i wasnt attached to anyone ever#but clearly i dont bc i keep doing things that make me attached to things/people so i need to get over myself#and i’m really worried abt something happening at home like idk it’s set off alarm bells in my head#all of this will be absolutely fine i just wish there wasnt an all of this in the first place#and i wish i could fault something other than my bad decisions but at the end of the day these are consequences of my actions so like.#that’s that and now i have to deal with it
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my mind is so funny for making me relive my worst nightmares and memories everytime I go to sleep
#my uncle is threatening to harm me and my family again but especially me this time for some reason but this time we're making a case#and if it goes to trial ill have to testify even though he hasnt come up to the house and ive never seen the text messages#and i have all my end of year assignments due rn and im dying from stress#and i still havent passed my drivers license its all so#overwhelming#and then i have to go and dream about the christmas i went to visit my bff and ex in germany#and crashing at my bffs house he got drunk and assaulted me over and over and in my sleep as well#and then i went to my exs and we stayed w her family for xmas eve and they were horrible to me and then we broke up that night#and she just cried forever and said i deserved better and i just sat there in bed like how did i even get here totally detached#you invite me to xmas with my family in another country only to realise that you'll never be mentally stable enough to move and be with me#and its been like 7 months since i made that decision and you could've told me something before? but you didn't?#life was good when i was the one making all the sacrifices. right.#life was good when i did all the work. but as soon as you have to enforce your own boundaries its too hard.#do you ever believe someone when they say theyre getting better? and then look like a fool?#every now and then i remember something about that relationship that makes me fucking angry#its all very. art installation i just cant help myself
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